Army Basic Training: Letter Writing Myths

Have you ever heard of letter writing myths? (Apparently they are a thing).

We had only been married for three weeks when my husband left for Army Basic Training.

It

was

hard.

We missed each other so much.  As an Army brat, letter-writing wasn’t all that new to me.  But I wasn’t prepared for Basic Training letters. I hadn’t written any before.

During those first few weeks, when I wasn’t on Pinterest pinning inspirational homecoming pins, I was researching the do’s and don’ts of letter writing to my soldier at Basic.  Looking back on it all, some of the guidelines I encountered were true, but some were totally myths.

Today, I want to bust the most common of the Basic Training letter writing myths that I encountered!

Note: my soldier went to Basic Training in 2014, so some things could have fluctuated a bit. I mean, covid for one thing. I have decided to keep this post up because it receives so many daily visits that I know it still must be helping someone! As always, follow the guidance your soldier gives you ABOVE ALL ELSE. (feel free to comment with further questions!)

Letter Writing Myths for Basic Training Mail

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Myth 1: You Can’t Send Pictures

The trainees are allowed to have pictures, but they aren’t allowed to receive anything beside letters, if that makes sense.  About a month into Basic, our wedding photographer sent me the photos.  I wanted my husband to see them SO BAD because #1 I loved them and #2 I knew they would be a total morale booster.  But I knew if I sent a padded envelope of wedding photos, he wouldn’t be allowed to receive them (because of the padded envelope, not the photos).  The trick here is to put the photos in the right size envelope.

I chose small envelopes, ones that were the size of the photos, and grouped  them into small stacks of 6 photos or less.  I even bound them together with flat ties so that they wouldn’t slide around.  In short: they were the illusion of a thick greeting card, but in reality they were four envelopes of wedding photos.  It was totally worth using 4 stamps up at once.  Even his battle buddies found them to be a pick-me-up, and they hardly knew us!  I will say, if my husband WASN’T allowed to have photos, I would not have sent them.  I didn’t want him to get in trouble and would never do something to jeopardize his training.  But I knew he could have them and so I totally went for it!

Just remember–you can ONLY send appropriate photos.

Myth 2: You Can Send Sticks of Gum

This is one of the most interesting of the letter writing myths I’ve seen. Even though you can get away with sending pictures, you absolutely can’t send gum.  Ranger school is a different story.  But at Basic, the soldiers are not allowed to have candy.  Any candy found is considered contraband and will get your soldier in trouble.  If he/she is seen chewing the gum outside of food hours, it will be obvious your soldier has a secret stash.  And if its found on them (whether that be in the uniform or in the locker) he/she will get in trouble.  You don’t want to get them in trouble for something as trivial as gum!

Myth 3: It’s the US Postal Service…It HAS to Arrive

Yes, it’s the US Postal System that shuffles your letters to and fro the states.  But it’s also the US Army that shuffles the letters fro and to your soldier.  Even though you specifically address your letter to your soldier in his/her particular platoon, the entire company’s letters all arrive at the same mail room.  And though the mail room sorts through the letters at a fairly normal pace, it’s not guaranteed that they will sort all the letters as quickly as the post office does.  Also, if your soldier is on a detail (working on a task) or in the field training, mail call may not happen that night.  Be assured, they will arrive eventually.  But they may arrive in bunches sometimes.  And they may not arrive as quickly as his letters make it to you.  Important note: the drill sergeants will never withhold mail on purpose.

Myth 4: Keep Your Letters Positive

This one is only kinda  a myth.  It’s true that your letters, for the most part, should be positive.  After all, nobody wants to get a letter full of lemons every night.  However, emotions play a new role in your soldier’s life.  I haven’t met an Army wife/fiancee/girlfriend/boyfriend/parent who says their soldier writes “completely devoid of feelings”.  Most of us have gotten “that” emotional letter from our soldier.

If he/she is writing you and telling you that this-or-that has been tough, it’s okay to do the same.  An unconvincingly peppy letter is more likely to stress your soldier out, as they might be able to tell you’re holding back.  Be real and be honest, just don’t be critical or overly dramatic.  As anyone who is in a real relationship knows, nothing bad ever comes from being honest.  While Basic Training can be a tough time for couples, it shouldn’t change your basic communication skills–which include telling the truth.

And if you’re reading this and wondering why you haven’t received a “feelings” letter from him/her…no worries.  It will come.  That is not a myth.

Myth 5: My Friend Spritzed All Her Letters With Perfume, So I Can Too

This one is frustrating.  Some girls totally get away with dousing their envelopes in perfume.  Others can’t.  One girl lovingly decorated her letter with stickers, only to have the drill sergeant make the receiving soldier do a certain number of pushups for every sticker.  It totally depends on the drill sergeants.  To err on the side of caution, I made my envelopes as nondescript as possible.  White business envelopes.  Black inked addresses.  The only “decorations” were fun stamps: hearts, flowers, etc.  Something he couldn’t get blamed for.  See this post for all my “envelope-regulation-approved-decorations.” haha

My advice: if you are the perfumey-sticker-type, wait to send those til AFTER he tells you how the drill sergeants act during mail call.  If his DS’s are pretty relaxed (hard to imagine, I know!) and just hand out the letters, then you should be good to go.  In the meantime, keep the outside of the envelope boring and let the magic take place inside it. Bonus: a nice and interesting stamp!

Also, as someone (hi!) who spritzed letters to my soldier in Ranger school, the scent doesn’t always arrive. There is too much “Army” scent going on in the letter facilities. haha. That or I just needed a stronger scent.

In conclusion:

Hopefully this myth-busting assuaged your fears and made writing those Basic letters a little easier.  Sending the first few letters is always the hardest, so don’t worry if it’s tough right now.  And if you have any other Basic Training letter writing myths (either to bust or to see busted), leave a comment below!

Visit here to see my favorite stationary supplies for writing letters to my solider!

Read next:  Army Basic Training: 5 (More) Letter Writing Myths