Why “Its Different for Everyone”

 

“But…it’s different for everyone.”

 

Has anyone said that to you after answering a question about the Army life?

 

I’ve gotten it a lot.

 

When my husband left for Basic Training, I had so many questions.

 

Where would his next assignment be? When would we get dates for moving?  Would he be allowed to come get me and help me move our things or did I have to do it myself?  Would the Army make the arrangements for moving or did I need to?  Etc…etc…etc!

 

Whether I was reading an article online or speaking directly in my support network, the answer was often cushioned with the precaution “but… it’s different for everyone.”  That noncomittal phrase was a difficult one to handle because all I wanted was an exact answer, and nobody could guarantee one!

 

And finally … hundreds of questions later.. I figured it all out.

 

I needed to stop asking questions!

 

Just kidding. I mean, I did need to lower my expectations about getting exact answers. haha But for real, I have finally come to understand why everyone kept telling me that.

 

It’s because there is no one-size-fits all situation to anything in the Army!

 

Even if there are tons of other soldiers with the same job, their units are going to interact differently with your soldier and you. Despite the fact that units operate under the same perimeters, the “feel” (for you) and experience (for your soldier) is going to vary greatly depending on each unit individually. Think of units like families…no two are the same.

 

When it comes to PCS (moving) questions…oof, even when they assess your individual situation it doesn’t mean it’s not going to change 50 times. It’s a running joke in the Army family world. The amount of moving pieces that goes into a PCS (getting orders, closing out one house, securing another, setting up transportation of goods, arrival of goods, etc) it’s impossible to nail down the exact timeline based on anyone else’s experience (including your own).

 

Intermission: Read 10 Things I Learned During Our Third PCS here if you want a fuller picture of the craze.

 

And then there are broad questions. “What locations are my solder likely to be sent to?” It all just depends on your soldier’s MOS or branch. Different units have residence at different bases. What is available to a soldier with one MOS/branch may not be a possibility for another.

 

Despite the variables, it’s still possible to find some of the information you’re looking for. You can ferret for answers on forums, social groups, neighbors, or even military advice lines (try Army One Source!) Proceed with caution and privacy if you’re asking online. OPSEC! And don’t be afraid to find a battle buddy–it helps.

 

If you take away anything from my own cycle of discovery, it’s that nothing will get you further in the Army family life then an extra dose of patience and flexibility. When it comes to hunting for answers, you will have to settle for maybes instead of guarantees.

 

It’s way better than knowing nothing.

 

While it didn’t help at the time to hear “but…it’s different for everyone,” at least now I know why people always said it.  I still hear it now. And while I still don’t enjoy hearing it when I’m trying to get an answer, at least I know they are right!

 

**Read next– 3 Surprise Realities About the Army Life**