You’ve been told a LOT of “rules” ever since you got the positive test. And while the information can often be conflicting, there are some laws that seem to consistently harmonize. I have found many of them to be true. Unfortunately, one of those was the no-eating-raw-cookie-batter rule. That was completely true. 🙁 But there were some definite “golden rules” that I chose to break and it worked out for me just fine! My first pregnancy was delightful and culminated with a healthy baby. I’m about to begin my third trimester with my second little baby, and still am enjoying breaking these 8 rules. I’m certainly NOT advocating that anyone else feel obligated to, nor do I think anyone else needs to! These are just the rules that I chose to break, and enjoyed doing it:
Rule One: Eat for Two
I broke this one right off the bat–mostly because of all my food aversions! But as my pregnancy continued, I found that “eating for two” wasn’t necessary or possible for me personally. I found myself eating more frequently, rather than eating larger portions. Many doctors will advise that your nutrient intake doesn’t need to increase until at least the second trimester, and this ended up being the case for me. All the vitamins and minerals (and calories) that my babies needed were easily supplied by my body without any additional food during the first trimester. There is nothing wrong with listening to your body, and in my case, my body didn’t want or need any “extra” food until the second (mostly third) trimesters. And even then, I couldn’t handle a lot of food at once. All my meals had to broken up into snacks. It’s just what worked for me!
Rule Two: Lose the Baby Weight After the Baby is Born
It’s pretty normal to go through a shrinking period after you give birth. I mean, there is no need for all that extra fluid once the baby arrives! But I didn’t wait until after birth to begin exercising. It’s much easier to workout BEFORE you have a tiny newborn in your house. Trust me. While I did find it was important to rest up during my pregnancies (and I really did rest a lot!) I definitely didn’t leave the working out for the post-birth time. I found my body had a significantly easier time bouncing back to pre-pregancy size because I worked out during my entire pregnancy. And it made me feel happier and more confident during my pregnancies. Bonus: being fit made the delivery infinitely easier too.
Rule Three: Buy a Pregnancy Wardrobe
I kind of blame this on the fact that my babies are small, and that nursing has become my jam. But I never bought a “pregnancy” wardrobe per se. I bought a few loose fitting tank tops and that was pretty much it. I did, however, buy a nursing wardrobe. So my personal advice to nursing moms: don’t spend more on your pregnancy wardrobe than on your nursing wardrobe. By the time you need to buy pregnancy clothes, many mommies-to-be are expecting their little one’s arrival in the next 6 months. So why invest in a wardrobe that will only last for 6 months, when breastfeeding can easily go on for 12 months or longer?! Again, it’s totally a personal preference thing, but I recommend keeping the pregnancy wardrobe smaller and “more simple,” because you’ll want to have the funds/space for beautiful and versatile clothes during all the months that you breastfeed.
Note: I only own one or two things specifically designed for nursing. My nursing wardrobe consisted of “normal clothing” necklines that stretch. For me, there were plenty of “regular” clothes that worked great for nursing–but they weren’t things I owned when I first took my baby home. I found myself needing to purchase quite a few new tops postpartum because my regular clothes were not nursing-friendly!
Rule Four: Wear Nursing Bras
Speaking of breastfeeding: you might have to set aside all your current bras during the pregnancy and after. But if you’re one of the many expectant mothers weeping over your vast Victoria Secret collection–no more tears! Not everyone ends up finding a nursing-specific bra they like. Most demi cut bras are completely nursing compatible, and come in a variety of support types: wireless, underwire, push-up, etc. The sky is the limit with those! Keep in mind that throughout your pregnancy and nursing journeys, your size will fluctuate to accommodate lactation growth, so be aware that what works for a few months may not work later on, or vice versa.
Also, most breastfeeding mothers are advised to wear bras to bed–and the demis will still work in this case. Be aware certain bras can lead to mastitis, especially at night. But don’t feel like the only bras that won’t cause mastitis are bralettes–because there are plenty of “normal” bras that are nursing-friendly too. It’s really about finding your own style and what feels comfortable. You don’t have to sacrifice looks for comfort or safety, but those two should definitely be at the top of your list of requirements when shopping!
Rule Five: It Took 9 Months to Gain and Will Take 9 Months to Lose
No. It takes your body as long as it takes YOUR body. For me, it was a lot closer to 9 days than 9 months. For some, that’s a matter of weeks and for others, a matter of months. Don’t hold yourself accountable to someone else’s metabolism, breastfeeding habits, sleep cycle, and genetics. Treat your body well and give it time. Comparison is the their of joy and trying to “recover” the way someone else did will only mislead you in taking care of your body. Remember: the grass is greener WHEN you water it–so try hard and make great efforts to help your body recover. But realize it is the effort and not the wishing that will make a difference. The most important thing is focusing on your body’s health and peace, not on the clock or calendar and wondering if it’s taking too long to “bounce back.”
Rule Six: Get Over the Fact that You’ll be Wearing a Hospital Gown
Maybe I’m alone here in feeling like the gowns are itchy, uncomfortable, and look horrible on my skin. BYOBG. Bring your own birthing gown. Most hospitals will let you (check before you don it). If you don’t want to purchase a birthing gown though, there are many options out there. Consider making your own or altering a nightdress you already have. As long as your gown has straps instead of sleeves, the only adjustment you’ll need to make is cutting a long slit down the back from the neck to the hips (which you can attach ties or velcro to so that it closes). Get something that is soft and dark in color…you’ll be so much more comfortable in your own gown than in the hospital-issued gown! For my first birth, I wore this. And for my second, I’m buying this.
Rule Seven: Rock the Bump
This one is again a TOTAL personal preference. Probably the most “personal” of all preferences in this post! I have seen so, so, so, so many beautiful pregnant bumps that look super cute when accented. So many women have found “rocking” their bump to not only help them celebrate their pregnancy blessing, but also to come to terms with the fact their body is changing and so is their wardrobe. It looks GREAT on them and I think they should totally go for it. But all of a sudden when I found myself pregnant, I found the bump-hugging styles didn’t suit me! I partly attribute this to the fact that I carry my babies high, and that I carry them small. It takes me months just to get a “bump” and I think the long and slow progression never inspired me to find bump-rocking styles.
I was discussing pregnancy wardrobes with my grandmother, and she told me in her time that pregnant women gravitated towards lose-fitting, concealing outfits. I thought I would give it a try and ended up LOVING it! My pregnancy jam became leggings, shorts, or tight-night pencil skirts paired with a flowy or non-fitted top. (I have summer pregnancies so tank tops were my go-to). It didn’t bother me that people couldn’t tell I was pregnant, because I tend to bring it up in conversations all the time! haha I just felt really relieved that I had finally found a style that looked good and felt right for me. I can’t advocate enough that a HUGE part of pregnancy confidence for me was a finding a style that worked. It surprised me that my pregnancy style was very different from my non-pregnancy style, but that’s just how it worked out!!
Rule Eight: You have to Give Up Coffee
It’s TOTALLY important to limit caffeine during pregnancy, most especially during the first trimester. And I did. While I didn’t even want coffee for the first few months of pregnancy (hello, food aversions!) my nurse found it perfectly fine for me to enjoy a cup once a day, however. Most research will conclude a safe caffeine limit during pregnancy is 200 mg, leaving room for an average-sized cup of coffee–about 11 oz. That’s only IF you’re comfortable consuming caffeine though (because it’s your choice!). And if you’re more of a soda and chocolate person than a coffee person, then just remember to go by the same caffeine guidelines. Sneaky trick: in order to drink “two” cups a day, I ended up making 1/2 caff coffee, so that my caffeine was split into two mugs over the course of the day. Teehee!
It’s possible that I’ve broken more than 8 rules… haha! However, there are many rules that I totally followed (and am following right now!) Again, I’m definitely not trying to say that everyone should break the rules that I chose to. In fact, I really want everyone to know that I believe you should live your pregnancy as YOU feel is best. But I’m sharing what ended up working for me because sometimes someone else’s positive story can be helpful when evaluating your own pregnancy goals. Maybe something that worked for everyone isn’t going to work for you? Or maybe something that works for you is something no one else can handle!
Every person and every pregnancy is so unique, and that’s really special. Thanks for taking the time to read about mine! Please leave a comment below if there is a rule you broke, and why! I’d love to know. I hope you come back soon!